Published October 26, 2006
oops
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,385 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
I didn't like this. You have some images, but what are they leading up to? How do they connect? The only clue I have is "Words in my head" as the title. Well, great, but what's so significant about the words in your head? Everyone who knows a spoken language has words in their head. If you really want to you can build on these ideas, talk about what they mean to you. Take a word (say, the wardrobe). Tell me about the wardrobe, why it's in your head, what's in it, etc. You could probably make a whole poem out of one or two of these.
Also, I couldn't help but notice you've posted a ton of poems in a row. It might be a good idea to space them out a bit and critique other poems/stories as well (The official rules say two reviews for every piece posted).
Keep writing!
I really didn't like this. How is ther a zoo in your head, how is there a wardrobe?
I understand tears unshed and laughter, but this is confusing.
Pandora